


The Only Way

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:25:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: Chakotay is at the end of his tether and decides to set some new ground rules regarding his and Kathyrn’s relationship.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday story for DeltaS 2008. Happy birthday my dear friend. My ‘Chakotay the Maquis’ sat on the computer during the writing of this… your ‘Alpha Chak’ story.
> 
> Thanks to Corinna for the beta.

The turbo lift doors opened and Kathryn Janeway exited, striding across the upper Bridge as if the devil was on her tail. Without looking at anyone, she jogged down the stairs and barked over her shoulder. “I’ll be in my Ready Room. Commander?”

The doors to her office hissed shut behind her before Chakotay had a chance to acknowledge her or her order.

His eyes met Tuvok’s for a brief moment, then he stood and made his way to her door. Taking a deep breath, he rang the chime. The doors opened immediately and turning to his left, he found her exactly where he expected – standing on the upper level in front of the large viewport, back ramrod straight, hands clasped behind her, staring at the stars. He knew what she’d experienced over the last half an hour was very much a ‘stare at the stars’ moment.

Voyager was at station keeping, sitting in sector 41753, while the crew took it in turn to speak to family members and friends for the first time in close to seven years. The Pathfinder project had come through for them and thanks to Reg Barclay and the MIDAS array, they’d established a two-way, real-time link with the Alpha Quadrant. Chakotay had seen and spoken to his sister the day before and Kathryn had just returned from her three-minute transmission with her mother and sister. He knew exactly what she was feeling. Overwhelmed was a word that merely skimmed the surface of emotions that this momentous event had elicited and he was there to offer comfort and a willing ear.

Yesterday, Kathryn had come to his office to be with him while he came to terms with the tumult of emotions he’d felt after reconnecting with their far-distant homeworld and speaking with the sister whom he thought had perished years before. So many sensations had been coursing through him that he hadn’t been sure what to feel. When Sekaya’s face emerged out of the static, he’d just stood and stared at her for fifteen of his precious one hundred and eighty second allocated transmission time. Still beautiful, she’d looked the same but different, older, wiser, sadder. The latter gave him pause and he was forced to accept that over the last several years, she’d seen and experienced more than he ever would have wanted her to.

Right when he thought he would cry, she’d leaned in close to the screen and smirked. “Hello, big brother. What sort of trouble have you managed to get yourself into this time?” It was quintessential Sekaya and he’d laughed aloud.

That had broken the ice and they’d laughed a lot and cried a little for the rest of their time together. It had been wonderful; an emotional free-fall that left him exhilarated and frustrated at the same time. He’d wanted to touch her, to reassure himself that she was really there, but of course he couldn’t and from this stemmed his irritation, although it had warred, unsuccessfully, with the delight and wonder of seeing and speaking to her again.

Eyeing Kathryn’s reflection in the window, he walked up behind her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right, Kathryn? Can I do anything to help?” His deep voice was filled with empathy and understanding, and when she turned towards him, eyes shimmering with unshed tears; he smiled warmly and squeezed her shoulder more firmly, hoping to convey his heartfelt compassion. It was the only thing he could do under the circumstances as she refused to tolerate anything more that this measure of touch from him – a sort of comradely acknowledgement of support and loyalty. She was far more overt with her touches – his chest, his arm, his hand sometimes and even his face on occasion, but he never dared touch her like that. There existed an unwritten rule that he felt he must abide by but looking at her now, he wondered.

His stoic captain and stalwart friend appeared fragile and insecure. It was a rare thing to see her like this and before he could think too much about his actions and the subsequent ramifications, he turned her towards him, pulled her into his arms and held her. She didn’t cry but let him hold her tight against his chest, her body tense as she fought for control. She was rigid in his arms and he began to stroke her back too soothe her, but she tensed even more, eventually pushing herself away from him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she avoided meeting his eyes. He backed away, moving out of her personal space and waited for her to explain. All she did was glare at the couch without moving and Chakotay began to worry. Had something happened to her family? Had she received bad news about something back home or in relation to the ship? He leaned forward a little, trying to see her eyes.

The movement seemed to jolt her out of her stupor. She glared at him for several heartbeats and then ground out a harsh. “Damn you!”

His mouth opened in shock, but before he could question her or ask for an explanation, she brushed past him and marched out the doors. Shaking his head, he stared at the closed doors for a long moment. He had no idea what was going on and not a clue as to what he’d done.

“Shit!” Exasperated, he slammed his hand against the railing as he strode down the stairs and back out to the Bridge.

Kathryn was gone. Harry and several other crewmembers were staring at the lift doors. Chakotay assumed she’d stormed off the Bridge in much the same manner as she’d arrived. He had no idea where she’d gone but, at that moment, he didn’t care. He’d just about had enough.

As the years passed, he seemed to understand her less and less. Foolishly, he’d thought that they’d come to an unspoken agreement whereby they could offer comfort and emotional support without the embarrassment of ‘those’ feelings getting in the way.

Yesterday, Kathryn had arrived at his office mere moments after he’d finished speaking to Sekaya. He assumed she’d had the computer alert her to when he’d left Astrometrics. Sailing through his door without a word, she’d taken his hand and sat with him on his couch. Tucked close to his side, she’d stroked his back, even cupping his cheek at one point, her eyes filled with genuine sympathy. He was far from oblivious to the reactions her proximity evoked but he’d abided by the unwritten rule, accepted her offer of comfort, welcomed it in fact, without compromising the boundaries and parameters she’d set down all those years ago.

This afternoon he’d only wanted to return the favour but he’d miscalculated – again.

Chakotay had presumed those parameters were sacrosanct but now he wasn’t so sure. Was her anger provoked because he’d pushed too far and breached some protocol of which he was unaware? Or was it that she expected something more from him that he hadn’t delivered? It drove him to distraction that they couldn’t talk about what was between them. Ignoring the situation certainly wasn’t working, as was evidenced by today’s ‘misunderstanding’, but the rules seemed to change from one minute to the next and it affected not only him, but the entire crew. Some days she’d be light-hearted and approachable; openly joking and laughing and then the next she was like a bad tempered drill sergeant, snapping out orders, aloof and stolid as a Vulcan. It was hard to take.

She was his best friend; surely, he was entitled to offer reassurance at a time like this without the threat of retribution. Hadn’t he proved that she could trust him? Damn it! His shoulders sagged as he took his seat.

It was exhausting. _She_ was exhausting and not in a good way. Not only did he have to deal with the daily trials and traumas that the Delta Quadrant dished out on a frighteningly regular basis, he also had to put up with the vagaries and capricious nature of his commanding officer and friend. He’d seen it as part of his job to endure or overlook most of her peculiarities and he very rarely questioned her, acutely aware of the burden she carried and the weight of responsibility she held – but he was worn out.

If she didn’t want to have any sort of relationship with him, fine. They could call it quits, skip the candlelit dinners and shared shore-leaves, go their separate ways and have a purely businesslike relationship. Maybe that would be easier. He’d miss her, but he missed her already and at least he wouldn’t have to deal with this on and off again torture that she put him through; but hell, he was in love with her.

Sitting there on the Bridge, he began to seethe. The whole situation was insane. They were still over thirty years from Earth and no matter how you looked at it, thirty years was too long to spend on your own. He wasn’t sure if he had the ability to sit on the sidelines for all that time. It wasn’t anything so shallow as his ‘needs’ as B’Elanna had so delicately put it a few months ago when she was haranguing him about his lack of bed partners and his need to move on. It had more to do with the emotional necessity of having someone special by your side; a companion or mate who was willingly bound to you, lending strength and succour during the hard times and there to share the joy and wonder during the good times. It might sound clichéd, but it had worked for humans and many other species for millennia and it was something he’d always imagined would be a part of his life. His lifestyle, prior to Voyager, hadn’t been terribly conducive to finding a life partner but as strange as it seemed, he’d found her, six and a half years ago, on the other side of the galaxy, seventy thousand light years from home. If only he could convince Kathryn that it wouldn’t be the end of the known universe to be in a relationship with him.

He was sure she felt the same as he did, hence the almost schizoid nature of their association and there was a definite pattern to her behaviour. She would be fun and flirty for a few weeks and then the nature of their relationship would begin to change. Her touches would become more frequent, the dinners more elaborate and they would spend more and more time together on and off duty. They’d have coffee together in the mornings, lunch in her Ready Room, afternoon tea alone in the mess hall; all of these assignations lamely camouflaged as ship’s business or crew reports. Their evenings and days off would be spent together in each other’s quarters or on the holodeck in various simulations. Over time he would be lulled into a false sense of security, enjoying the easy nature of their friendship, falling deeper in love with her than ever, thinking that perhaps this time she would let him in and then, bam! The shields would go up and he’d be locked out again until she decided to let the barriers slip once more. Now that he thought about it, it was enough to drive a man to drink and he’d been putting up with it for close to seven years. Well, no more. Today was the day that they sorted this out once and for all. It was time.

Firstly, he’d check with Seven to make sure that there wasn’t anything from her transmission that had caused her distress and once he’d cleared that, he’d go and see her.

Taking a deep breath and with his mind made up, he began contemplating just how he was going to broach the subject with Kathryn. A straightforward approach was probably the best idea; there was less chance of confusion. Chakotay checked the central console; there was only another half an hour left of his shift. He stood up. “Tuvok you have the Bridge until change of shift. I’ll be in Astrometrics.”

The trip to deck eight didn’t take long but even in those few minutes he felt the resentment growing and festering. Why the hell wouldn’t she just talk to him? If something _was_ wrong, he needed to know so he could help her. On the one hand, he didn’t want anything to be wrong with Kathryn’s family, he wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but if there were something, it would go a long way to explaining her earlier reaction. If not, she had some apologies to make.

The doors to Astrometrics opened on his approach and he figured he would find out soon enough.

Seven glanced up from her console. “Commander, the array has moved out of range. There will be no more transmissions for another thirty-two days.”

“I’m aware of that Seven. I’m here to ask you something – in confidence. The Captain arrived back on the Bridge a short while ago and she seemed… upset. I’m going to see her in a moment. You were here while she spoke to her mother and sister?

A brusque nod was his answer.

“Well, I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything in her communication that could have caused her distress.”

“I promised that Captain that anything I overheard of the crew’s conversations, I would not repeat.”

“I know that Seven and your discretion is greatly appreciated, but this is the Captain and, as her First Officer and friend, I need to know – particularly if it is something that might affect the smooth running of the ship or her command.”

Seven stood and eyed Chakotay coldly; she blinked twice. He could almost see the cogs grinding and processors whirring as she weighed up the pros and cons of his request. She gave another sharp nod and spoke. “I can think of nothing in particular that would have caused her distress.”

“Her mother and sister were well?”

“Yes, and they appeared very happy to be speaking with the Captain; as was the Captain to be speaking with them. Her sister in particular was very jocular; her mother however seemed more circumspect and was concerned about the Captain’s wellbeing.”

Chakotay nodded encouragingly.

Seven frowned slightly but continued. “She asked the captain if there was someone special in her life and when the Captain answered in the negative, her mother insisted that she must be lonely and that she should do something about the situation. Your name was then mentioned twice within that context, her sister made some rather inappropriate remarks about your physique and appearance, but the Captain ignored her, assuring her mother that she was fine and brought the subject to an abrupt end. After that they spoke of the Captain’s dog, her aunt Martha and someone called Mark.” Seven finished speaking and raised her eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

Chakotay nodded distractedly. “Fine, thank you, Seven.”

She spun on her heel without another word and went back to her consoles.

That settled it. He was going to see her tonight. Her mother could see the damage caused by her isolation and he had a feeling that he’d have Gretchen Janeway’s approval for what he was about to do.

His shift was over and after checking her location with the computer, he hailed her as soon as he was through the door of his quarters. “Chakotay to Janeway.” There was no answer. Frowning, he tried again. “Chakotay to Janeway.”

She was in her quarters; the computer had given him her location less than two minutes before. The plan was to see her as soon as he could. It was tempting to turn up without forewarning her but he quickly realised that wouldn’t work in his favour. She’d raise those shields so quickly there’d be no chance of getting through to her. This way she had an opportunity to compose herself. She would be thinking that he was coming to apologise for what happened in her Ready Room today. That is what he would usually do, but this time she was wrong. There would be no apologies today.

His combadge chirped. “Janeway here. What is it, Commander?” Her voice was strained and gruff and he wondered if she’d been crying. He hated the idea that she was so upset, but in truth, the fault rested solely with her.

“I would like to see you, Kathryn. I’ll come by your quarters in half an hour.”

“It’s not a good time, Chakotay.”

“It’s important. I’ll see you in thirty minutes.” He cut the connection before she could make any more excuses or beg-off on some contrived pretext. They’d known one another for a long time and he knew all her tricks. However, as of tonight he wasn’t going to play the game any longer. Kathryn Janeway was in for a surprise.

Chakotay showered and then stood in front of his wardrobe deciding what to wear. His uniform was out of the question; this had nothing to do with their command or Starfleet. Inspiration hit and he grabbed his leather pants from the back of his closet. They hadn’t seen the light of day for almost as long as he’d been onboard Voyager and it was about time he reminded Kathryn who he really was. He left the waistcoat behind, but threw on a loose linen shirt, slipped on some shoes and headed for the door. Kathryn was used to him being punctual, but tonight he was a few minutes early and hoped that would disconcert her enough that he would have the advantage. Outmanoeuvring Kathryn Janeway was no easy feat and one had to be on their toes right from the outset.

He pressed the chime on her door and it opened almost immediately. She was standing by her desk and frowned as she looked at him. “You’re early, Commander.”

“Just a couple of minutes, I was ready sooner than I thought.” He met her glare with a steady gaze. She had to know that he wasn’t intimidated; not that he ever had been. They were equals. He was a captain in his own right and although he’d acquiesced willingly to being her subordinate for the sake of the ship and the crew, that didn’t mean he’d checked his ego at the door, or his brain. For too long now, he’d tolerated her whims and it was time to lay some new ground rules. The parameters from five years ago on New Earth didn’t meet with their current circumstances.

“What do you want, Commander?”

“It’s Chakotay, Kathryn.”

“Fine. _Chakotay,_ what do you want?”

“A glass of wine, if you’re offering?”

He watched her eyes narrow and her jaw set but she didn’t argue and turned towards the replicator. “Red or white?”

“Red, thank you.”

“Computer, two glasses of wine; one red, one white.”

Chakotay’s mouth twisted into a smile but he hid it quickly before she turned. People thought _he_ was the contrary one but he wasn’t in the same league as the woman in front of him. Kathryn _always_ drank red wine; she never drank anything less red than a pinot and he didn’t know how many times she’d told him that the only thing white wine was good for was cleaning the plasma residue off exhaust manifolds, but she was making her protest.

God he loved this woman.

“Here.” She all but shoved the glass into his hand but then she frowned. “What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing. Cheers.”

With a half-hearted raise of her glass, she sipped her wine. Chakotay almost sprayed her with a mouthful of Shiraz as he watched her face scrunch up into a poorly controlled grimace. Unable to help himself, he offered her his wine. “Do you want to swap?”

“No!” She turned and sat on the arm of the couch and then raised her eyebrows waiting for him to talk.

Instead, he sat down in the chair opposite and leaning back, he crossed his legs at the ankles and sipped his wine again. Kathryn didn’t drink anymore of hers but cradled the glass in her hands as she glared at him. “All right, Chakotay; you’ve got something on your mind. What is it?”

“You first.”

“I don’t have anything to say. You’re the one who called this meeting.”

“Yes and I’ve got plenty to say but I want to hear from you first. What was all that about this afternoon? Storming out of the Ready Room like that. It was uncalled for, not to mention a show of incredibly bad manners.”

“Me? Bad manners? I wasn’t the one who grabbed a person and wouldn’t let go.”

Chakotay pulled back a bit and stared. “You’re kidding right? Is that how you remember it?” He huffed a laugh and placed his wine on the table. “Okay, if it makes you feel better, keep fooling yourself but that’s not what happened and you know it. Why can’t you just be honest with yourself Kathryn, and me?”

She slammed her wine glass on the table, the contents splashed onto the tabletop and then onto the floor. Ignoring the mess, she stood, pointing towards the door. “Leave now before I say something that I’ll regret.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere. We have this out now, once and for all. I’m sick and tired of it Kathryn. It’s time to end this.”

She looked stricken but only for a split second before rage sparked in her eyes. “Out! Now!”

Chakotay realised what he’d said and heartened by her reaction, stayed where he was. “No!”

“I’ll call security.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’m not joking.”

“I know you’re not, but you’d better figure out what you’re going to tell them.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Like what?”

“Like… like harassment.”

He almost smiled. “No one is going to believe you, Kathryn.”

“I don’t care what they believe. I’m the captain and if I say you go to the Brig; _you go to the Brig_.”

He stood slowly and took a step towards her. She was talking nonsense and they both knew it. “Is that really what you want?” It was hard to ignore the look she gave him as she reluctantly glanced down at his leather pants and then dragged her eyes northward again. She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again as Chakotay took another step forward.

They were within a couple of feet of one another now, close enough that he could see her pupils dilate and the flush on her cheeks and neck. There was one thing he needed to clear up before he ventured further. “Just so you have this straight, Kathryn, what I offered you this afternoon was the comforting hug of a friend, the platonic embrace from someone who cares about you and who would never overstep the parameters that you set all those years ago.”

He watched as her forehead creased in a frown and her eyes clouded with disappointment.

Chakotay was tempted to leap for joy. He _had_ read her correctly and he knew now that what was about to happen was the right thing to do, but he wasn’t finished yet. “That’s not to say that I agree with them.”

Neither was she, it seemed. “They are perfectly sound parameters. You know the rules.”

Chakotay took another step towards her. “There are no such rules, certainly not for our situation. Another thirty years, Kathryn? Do you really want to wait that long? The truth is I’ve waited long enough.”

She teetered forward slightly but he took a small step back, his message clear. Either they moved forward with this relationship or he was going.

There was that panicked look again but he watched, impressed, as she locked her knees and crossed her arms defiantly. “Fine, I’ve already said to go.”

Chakotay took another step back only to see flash of something pass over her face but she covered it well. He wasn’t going to be swayed though. “Okay. This is it though, Kathryn. No more dinners or shore leaves, no late night calls for coffee, no more lunches or meals together that aren’t strictly work related.”

“If you can stand it, so can I.”

He shrugged. “If that’s the way you want it, I’ve got people waiting for me in Sandrine’s. I’ll see you on the Bridge in the morning. Good night, Captain.” Calling her bluff was not an easy thing to do, knowing how stubborn the woman could be, there was the likelihood of this blowing up in his face. However, he was sick of always playing by her rules so he turned and walked towards the door.

He was one step away from triggering the opening mechanism when he heard her.

“Don’t go.”

Stopping he turned. “Kathryn?”

She was standing in the middle of the room now, her hands on her hips, feet apart, ready for action. “Don’t go.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to.”

“Why?”

“Do I have to explain it? Surely you know.”

“I think I do, but I’d still like to hear it from you.”

Her eyes narrowed and she lifted her chin defiantly. “You first.”

“I asked you.”

“Yes, but you made me go first last time. It’s my turn to ask you now.” Her eyes glinted with something he hadn’t seen before.

“Do you want my reasons for going or my reasons for staying?”

“Aren’t they one in the same?” Her eyebrow rose haughtily and that was it.

In three strides, he was upon her, his arms around her, one hand splayed across her bottom holding her against him and the other tangled in her hair as he backed her towards the bulkhead. His face hovered close to hers, his eyes dark and his face stern. She thudded against the wall, but didn’t make a sound, her hands by her side and a challenging look in her eyes. Chakotay relaxed his grip slightly but instantly aroused, pressed his erection into her, hoisting her higher so that he pushed into her sex. Her eyebrow rose a millimetre, but her mouth was slightly open and her breaths coming in ragged pants.

He licked his lips and noticed her gaze dip to watch his mouth and, as his face moved closer, her eyes darkened.

His hand began to massage her bottom, dipping between her legs, as his hips rocked against her. He could tell by the stubborn set of her jaw that she was trying not to react but her body was betraying her as her pelvis began its own counter rhythm and she started to tremble. Her lips were open and inviting but bypassing them, he moved along her jaw line with hot open-mouthed kisses until he reached that spot just below her ear. He kissed and licked the spot that had been part of his fantasies for years. Kathryn groaned.

Her pulse throbbed under his lips and he smiled as he felt her arms move around him, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the back of his shirt. Grinding into her, he nipped at the soft skin just under the collar of her tee then kissed his way back up to her ear. Sucking on her ear lobe, he bit it gently as his hot breath blew across her ear and neck. At this point, she grabbed a handful of his hair, yanked him away from her and ground out between clenched teeth. “Damn you, you bastard.”

He whispered hotly in her ear. “Damn away, but it’s not going to stop me. I love you, Kathryn and I’ve wanted to do this, and more, for as long as I can remember.” His lips met hers, pressing hard; so hard that he could feel the ridges of her teeth before she opened her mouth under his and let his tongue plunge past the barrier of her lips. Her hips jolted against him as their tongues met and she made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a complaint. Pulling back, he smiled at her. Her eyes glinted darkly and now with handfuls of his shirtfront, she tried to push against him.

This time he hoisted one of her legs over his hip, holding it there and opening her wide so he could press more firmly against her centre. Kissing her again, he kept up the gentle undulations as his lips worked her mouth, nipping at her lips, his tongue darting out to trace the outline of her mouth. She held handfuls of his shirt but was still not giving in and this time he pulled right back and stared into her eyes. Below waist they were still connected and he could feel the heat of her through the crotch of her pants as he throbbed against her. His voice was rough with arousal but he had to ask. “I’ll stop if you really want me to but…”

Kathryn’s eyes sparked and she yanked him towards her, her mouth slamming onto his as she tried to clamber closer to him.

He took that as a no and kissed her hard.

Her breaths were coming in uneven gasps and her hands couldn’t seem to find purchase on his body. One moment she was grabbing at his shoulders or clawing at his front and the next her fingers were weaving through his hair and she was making those same whimpering noises. It was as if she was having a wordless argument with herself as to whether this was the right or the wrong thing to do. When she yanked his hair for the third time, he grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.

She was a wreck her hair was dishevelled, her uniform askew and she was flushed and panting. He’d never seen her look so sexy.

With his eyes drilling into hers, he pulled down the zipper of her uniform jacket. She made no move to stop him or any attempt to free herself as he pulled her shirt from her pants. Her eyes never left his but her breathing quickened as his hand skimmed under her tee and stroked across her belly and up over her breasts. She even thrust her chest towards him when his hand drifted past her erect nipples. Biting her lip, she shuddered as his index finger ran a trail down her front from the small vee at the top of her sternum to her navel, then traced along the top of her uniform pants. He leaned in close again. “I want you, Kathryn. Now.”

There was a dark look of rebellion in her eyes that he adored and she didn’t disappoint him with her response. Blowing her hair off her face, she glared at him, her voice husky and low. “So, what are you waiting for?”

Chakotay grinned as he watched the corner of her mouth twitch and in one sharp move, he tore her tee from neck to waist then with his forefinger, tugged down the cup of her bra until her breast fell free of its lacy confines. Still holding her hands above her head, he leant down, taking her nipple between his teeth and flicked it with his tongue. Kathryn arched towards him, trying to thrust her breast into his mouth, but he was determined to take his time. This was payback and he had almost seven years worth to collect.

While his mouth was busy with her breasts, he used his free hand to undo the clasps on her pants, and then slid his hand inside, over her hip and behind, to grasp a fleshy handful of buttock. Pulling away from her breast, he kissed her lips again as he began to ease her out of her pants. She wriggled her hips to try to help but in the end, she gasped. “Wait!”

Chakotay stopped. Stepping away, he let go of her hands not quite believing that they’d come so far only to have her call a halt at this point. Taking a deep breath, he was ready to turn and leave, when she grinned at him and in the same movement, shrugged out of her jacket and kicked of her boots. That eyebrow quirked again and she reached for him, pulling his shirt apart, ignoring the buttons as they flew in all directions. Now she grabbed him and swung him around, pushing him against the bulkhead. Leaning forward she kissed the middle of his chest then laid her hand over the spot. He could feel his heart hammering under her warm hand. Stepping back slightly, she looked him in the eye, her face serious but gently so. “This is mine?”

It was a question, not a demand and with his face softening into a loving smile, he nodded. “It always has been.”

Seemingly satisfied, and with her eyes still glued to his, Kathryn quickly removed the rest of her clothing and stood before him naked. “This is yours.”

Chakotay didn’t know what to say. After all his harsh thoughts, all he wanted to do now was wrap her in his arms and protect her. She brought out the best and the worst in him and he could feel the sting of tears burning his eyes but then her hand curled and her nails scraped down his chest and abdomen – not so much to hurt but enough that they left a mark. Biting her lip, she began to unfasten his leather pants, her fingers teasing the arrow of hair that trailed down his lower abdomen.

Kathryn glanced up at him, her mouth twisting into a knowing smile. “You wore these on purpose didn’t you?”

His eyes glinted. “Yes.”

“I’ve never forgotten you know. You’ve always been this man to me.” Her hands slid down the side of his pants, pushing them past his hips, freeing his erection. She inhaled sharply and then looked up into his eyes again. “And this man.” With that, she sank to her knees in front of him, her hand wrapping around his rigid shaft and took him in her mouth.

Chakotay groaned; one hand slapping against the wall, trying to find something to hold onto, and the other weaving through her hair as she made love to him with her mouth. Her tongue laved at the swollen head, her teeth scraping gently over the sensitive ridge before she slid his length into her mouth, sucking and manipulating him with her teeth and tongue. He was in heaven and looked down see something he never imagined in his wildest dreams – Kathryn Janeway on her knees, her hands wrapped around his erection, giving him head. If there was ever an answer to that long ago question of whether she would serve under him, this was it. Damn he’d never been so turned on in his life and he was going to come if she didn’t stop. He gasped, “Kathryn stop.”

Smiling, she let him slip from her mouth and stood slowly, her body sliding up his as she rose. His penis trailed down her body as her nipples scored a path over his belly and pressed into his chest.

With her lips swollen and her eyes bright with arousal, she draped herself against him, her arms over his shoulders, her lips sliding over his chest, their naked bodies meeting full length for the first time. Chakotay took an unsteady breath and laid his hands on her shoulders, turning her back to the wall again. The sensation of her hot body against his was almost his undoing, so he drew back, hovering close, touching her with only his hands as they dragged down her body until he was on his knees, his face level with her mound. Lifting one leg over his shoulder, he blew cool breaths over her hot flesh. He could see her muscles pulsing, the moisture beading on her dark curls and her whole body quivering as it readied itself for climax.

He ran his fingers lightly over her folds but her scent triggered something primal within him and his mouth latched onto her. Separating her labia with his thumb and forefinger, he plunged his tongue deep inside her. She howled and thrust against his mouth. His nose ground against her clit, his tongue pistoning in and out of her as she whimpered. He could feel her body stiffen, her climax close. Heaving himself away from her, his hand stroked over her lower abdomen, accompanied by soothing caresses over her hips and thighs before he nuzzled the heat of her mons again. Her fingers tangled in his hair and tugged him upwards.

He kissed his way towards her mouth, up over her belly, her breasts and chest. One hand followed his lips, stroking and lightly pinching as the other cupped her groin and pressed into her depths. Kathryn’s fingernails dug into his shoulders and she husked quietly, “Oh God.” as her pelvis rocked onto his fingers.

He could feel her skin shiver and her legs tremble. Just as he felt them begin to go from under her, he pulled his fingers from her and spun her around to face the wall, one arm around her middle supporting her and the other slipping over her belly to stroke through the moisture between her legs. Her arms were against the wall, palms flat on the bulkhead, her eyes closed as she laid her head between them. He spooned her into him and hoisting her bottom higher, pressing into her from behind. Kathryn tilted her pelvis and groaned loudly as he plunged into her, burying himself to the hilt in her heat. Hunching and thrusting, he almost lifted her feet off the ground with each forward lunge. She was so hot, so perfect and every time he pushed into her, she whimpered and pushed back towards him, her hands clawing at the smooth wall of her quarters.

Chakotay bent over her, kissing and nipping at the back of her neck as she tilted her head to give him room. She then slid her hand down to rub her clit, rasping over her shoulder. “Harder.”

Her wish was his command… damn, she was amazing and with his hand over hers, rubbing the small hard nub, he pounded into her. Sweat dripped from his forehead onto her back as they slammed together slickly, in perfect rhythm.

He could feel her tightening around him and she began to falter. With a loud cry, she grabbed his hand and held it against her groin, grinding onto his fingers as he felt the first pulsing clench of her inner walls gripping him. Kathryn cried out something that sounded like his name as she arched, her back flush against his chest, her arm wrapping around his neck as she jolted and juddered through her orgasm. As her pulsing stopped he slipped from her and she sighed. He hadn’t come yet and hoisting her limp body into his arms, he carried her into the bedroom.

Chakotay grinned at her as she flopped back onto the bed.

Kathryn smiled. “I’m jelly.”

He knelt over her and nuzzled at her breasts. “Not for long.” With one hand under her bottom, he lifted her to his mouth and licked over her opening and sensitive nub several times before he moved higher, pushing into her, his hips cradled between her open thighs.

Again, she moaned and arched towards him, as he ground into her depths. His mouth met hers in a deep kiss, sharing her taste as her legs wrapped around his hips and she began to push hard against him, his hips meeting hers on each upthrust. Their kiss ended and Chakotay looked down at her. She was staring up at him.

He groaned her name, “Kathryn.” as he looked at her – her mouth slightly open, moist from their kisses and her eyes filled with love and want. His breathing lost its rhythm and his thrusts became jagged and uncontrolled, he was going to come. She grabbed his hand and held it over her heart, her nipple searing his palm. Just as he felt the first wave of his climax, she squeezed his hand tight and husked, “Yours.”

He bellowed her name as his body seized and she gripped him, inside and out, her arms and legs wrapping around him as he pumped his seed deep within her clenching heat. It was like a supernova in his head, sparks of light lit the darkness behind his closed eyes and then he saw her face and his hips pumped again, spurting every last drop of his spend against her womb. He never wanted this to end.

Slowly his muscles relaxed and he collapsed onto her, his body covering hers completely until in one movement, he rolled them onto their sides. His hand finished up where it began, splayed across her bottom, holding him to her.

Kathryn stroked the fine hairs on the back of his neck, her head tucked into the crook of his shoulder. Her breath on his neck another sensation that he thought he’d never experience and he smiled.

“I can feel that.”

“Hmmm?”

“That self-satisfied smirk.”

He thrust his hips forward gently and kissed the top of her head. “And you’re not smiling.”

“I didn’t say that.” She lifted her head and looked up at him, the signature Janeway half smile quirking at one corner of her mouth.

Chakotay leant down and kissed that side of her mouth, his tongue teasing her lips until they opened and he kissed her deeply. His hand wove through her hair again, and his kissed her eyes, cheeks and then her lips again.

Kathryn stroked her hand down his front, and his smile broadened as she frowned when her movements made him slide from her body. She sighed quietly, and then looked up at him. “I owe you an apology.”

“You do, but I’ll let it ride this time.”

“Oh, how generous of you.”

“I know. Don’t count on it next time though.” He drew back a little and studied her face. “Are you ready to admit that this is something that we both need? No more games, no more on again off again, Janeway?”

“I think we can safely say that parameters, protocols and regulations are blown to smithereens. That performance was the equivalent of using a tricobalt device on an piece of space dust.” She quirked that eyebrow again. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He swept her hair from her face. “I’m not going back, Kathryn. I’m warning you now, you can’t change your mind and decide that you don’t want this. We make a commitment to one another now and it’s for keeps.”

“Fair enough.”

He looked at her carefully. “You understand what I’m saying don’t you? You and me, we live together as a couple; no pretence, no deception. If Starfleet asks, we are bonded.”

“I don’t care what Starfleet thinks, but I’m sure my mother will be pleased. You have a month.”

“What for?”

“To make an honest woman of me.”

Chakotay laughed aloud. “Kathryn Janeway, we’ve gone from you wanting to toss me in the Brig to wanting to marry me; all within the space of an hour. You don’t see anything slightly bizarre about this do you?”

“Not really. It’s pretty much been that way since we met and no doubt will continue to be. A bit like the fact that half the time you don’t know whether to kiss me or strangle me.”

“True. Situation normal then except that nudity is involved?”

Kathryn nodded. “In a nutshell.”

“I can live with that.” He rolled her under him.

“I’m glad because I thought I’d have to live without you. Would you really have walked out?”

It was time for truth. He nodded. “Yes, I was at the end of my rope, Kathryn. Your behaviour this afternoon in the Ready Room was the last straw.”

Her brow furrowed and he could feel some of the fight go out of her. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Of course you can. Each of us could if we had to, but fortunately we don’t and doing it together is so much better.”

Kathryn draped her arms above her head and stretched. “No argument here, my Maquis.”

Chakotay raised his eyebrow and leaning to the side on his elbow, his eyes swept hungrily over her body.

He knew she was watching him, but he wasn’t going to hide his feelings anymore. From now on, she would know exactly how she affected him.

Her eyes met his candidly. “I meant what I said. This is yours.”

Nodding, he bent down, kissed each breast and then met her gaze with equal candour. “I love your body; I always have, but its here,” he placed his hand over her heart, “and here,” he tapped her forehead, “where I want to live. This is where the real Kathryn resides.”

She cupped his face between her hands and kissed him soundly. “They are all yours. They’ve been yours since the day we met.”

He stared at her for a long moment and satisfied, he nuzzled her neck, his hands travelling down her sides to stroke her thighs.

Her hands weren’t idle either and she caressed his back and buttocks, whispering loudly in his ear. “Of course, I only want you for your body.”

He guffawed and she roared with laughter as he began to ravish her, his rough whiskered cheek chafing against her breasts and his hands moving over her already sensitised flesh, driving her quickly towards another climax, he grinned down at her as she surrendered. “I love you, evil woman.”

Gasping as he teased her, she groaned and then whispered. “I love you too, always.”

Chakotay’s lips met hers, knowing that her body, her mind and her heart were his forever.

* * *

The doors to the Astrometrics Lab opened on their approach. Seven looked up from her console. “Captain. Commander.”

“How are the transmissions going, Seven?” Kathryn took her place at the forward console and checked the readings.

“We are running to schedule. Your mother and sister are due to commence their communication in one minute and seventeen seconds.”

“Good. We’ll take it from here, Seven. You’re excused.”

Seven hesitated for a second but then turned and left the Lab. The doors hissed shut behind her and smiling Kathryn and Chakotay moved closer together, his arm draping around her shoulder and pulling her towards him for a quick kiss. The console beeped and Kathryn drew away to tap at the controls. Gretchen and Phoebe Janeway emerged from the haze of static. Kathryn smiled broadly.

“Kathryn? You look different.”

“Mom, Phoebe, I’d like you to meet, Chakotay.”

Fin.


End file.
